I was going to write this two hours ago, but then I fell asleep on the couch, which is sad. I mean, it was about quarter to 9, and I passed out so completely that when I woke up the first time, I was literally too tired to move and I could barely see. This is what life looks like some days – falling asleep from exhaustion mere seconds after my kids go to bed, waking up with my head on the Boppy (surprisingly comfortable, actually) and a burp cloth under my feet.
I used to be a night person. In fact, really I still am in that I have a hard time getting up earlier than 7 and being productive, and I tend to catch up on emails and other work at night. But I’m forced to get up earlier anyway, and my circadian clock may never forgive me. This has been the second-hardest adjustment for me in having kids: the lack of sleep when I need it. I am practically narcoleptic now in my ability to fall asleep at a moment’s notice in the most uncomfortable seat in the house. But this is nothing to the fact that some days, I feel like I don’t have any free space in my own mind because two small people are taking it all up. What I mean is that, in giving them the amount of attention they need, some days I don’t get to think about much else. This makes me even more tired and perpetuates the cycle. It’s a strange circle going on here. Oddly, one of the things that helps is working, whether on my own projects or on projects I’m hired to do, but of course I need to be awake to do these things. It’s quite the conundrum some days.
So what was I originally going to write about? Who knows? I think I was going to talk about Jamaica Plain and how awesome it is because I’ve spent part of the past two weekends there, first wandering around Franklin Park with friends and then attending the JP Music Festival. Both things were really fun, and I’m sure at some point I had something clever to say about them. But now, I think I’ll just head off to bed before I fall asleep at my desk and my husband finds me face-planted on my keyboard. Here’s hoping for a more alert tomorrow.